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How some choices end up not being that hard after all - Morgan Dawn Livejournal:The Here And Now — LiveJournal
The Here And Now
How some choices end up not being that hard after all
I am terrified and overwhelmed about the state of our nation, by the hate crimes, the loss of civil liberties, the cruelty and the dismantling of our democracy.  I feel powerless and small. I am disabled, the main provider and caretaker for my 80+ year old mother, and I have health issues that are starting to spiral out of control.

But I cannot not act. My plan is to do one thing every week. We will budget one hour each weekend to calling and writing our local reps, sending messages of support to fan friends and family, reading and learning about what is happening around us.  I want to make speaking out as much as part of me as my love for Star Trek and fan-vidding and fandom history.

I have a physical therapy routine that I must do every day of life. It is hard and discouraging because it can never counteract or fix or cure my physical decline. It hurts  every day and on some days it triggers vertigo and cognitive problems.  My rational mind  knows why I have to do the exercises but my heart sometimes wants to just lie down and stop. But eventually I have to get up because...well let's be real, I have to pee. And maybe eat something.  Turns out not peeing is not an option as long as you are still breathing.  

In other words, it took a while, but yesterday something clicked in my mind and I realized there were parallels between my failing body and our failing country. And then I realized that so many of us are in the same boat, struggling with our daily lives, feeling small, and powerless, and thinking we can do nothing stop the tsunami of hate.

I speak up because if I failed to speak up,  I would never forgive myself. I have lived in a country where I witnessed the enduring shame of the children and grandchildren of people who did not speak up. I have walked the same roads where millions traveled to their deaths and wondered what  I would do if I were faced with similar choices. 

I speak up because I want to answer that question in a way that will not haunt me today, tomorrow and beyond. 
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